WORDS FROM A FATHER TO A SON ABOUT MARRIAGE

1. My son, if you keep spending on a woman and she never asked
you if you’re saving or investing, and she keeps enjoying the
attention, don’t marry her.
2. My son, a woman could be a good wife to you, some could be a
good mother to your children but if you’ve found a woman like a
mother to you, your children and your family, please don’t let her
go.
3. My son, don’t confine the position of your wife to the kitchen,
where did you get that from? Even in our days, we had farm-lands
where they worked every morning . . . that was our office.
4. My son, if I tell you that you’re the head of the house, don’t look
at your pocket; look if you will see a smile on your wife’s face.
5. My son, if you want to have a long life, let your wife be in-
charge of your salary, it will be difficult for her to spend it when
she’s aware of the home needs and bills to pay but if it’s in your
care, she will keep you asking even when all has been spent.
6. My son, don’t ever beat your woman, the pain in her body is nothing to be compared to the wound on her heart and that
means you may be in trouble living with a wounded woman.
7. My son, now that you’re married, if you live a bachelor kind of life with your wife, you will soon be single again.
8. My son, in our days, we had many wives and many children
because of our large farm-lands and many harvests, there are
hardly any land for farming anymore, so embrace your woman closely.
9. My son, under the cocoa tree that I did meet your mother could be your eateries and restaurants of nowadays, but remember, the closet thing we did there was to embrace each
other.
10. My son, don’t be carried away when you start making more money, instead of spending on those tiny legs that never knew how hard you worked to get it, spend it on that woman that stood by you all along.
11. My son, when I threw little stones or whistled at the window of your mother father’s house, to call her out, it was not for sex, it was because I missed her so much.
12. My son, remember, when you say your wife has changed,
there could be something you’ve stopped doing too.
13. My son, your mother, rode the bicycle with me before I bought that tortoise car outside there, any woman that won’t endure with you in your little beginning should not enjoy your riches.
14. My son, don’t compare your wife to any woman, there are
ways she’s enduring you too and has she ever compared you to any man?
15. My son, there is this thing you people call feminism, well, if a
woman claim to have equal right with you in the house, divide all
the bills into two equal parts, take one part and ask her to start paying the other part.
16. My son, I met your mother a virgin and I took more yams to her father, if you don’t meet your wife a virgin, don’t blame her, what I didn’t tell you is that our women had prestige.
17. My son, I didn’t send your sisters to school because I was
foolish like many to think a female child won’t extend my family name, please don’t make that mistake, the kind of female achievers I see nowadays has made the male-gender an ordinary tag.
18. My son, your mother have once locked up the cloth I was wearing and almost tore it because she was angry, I did not raise my hand to beat her because of a day like this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I never for once beat your mother.
19. My son, in our days, our women had more of natural beauty,
though I wouldn’t lie to you, some had minor painting of their appellation mostly on their arms, the ones you people now call tattoo, but don’t forget that they didn’t expose any part of their
body like your women of nowadays.
20. My son, your mother and I are not interested in what happens in your marriage, try to handle issues without always coming to
us.
21. My son, remember I bought your mother’s first sewing machine for her, help your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re pursuing yours.
22. My son, don’t stop taking care of me and your mother, it’s a secret of growing old and having children to take care of you too.
23. My son, pray with your family, there is a tomorrow you don’t know, talk to God that knows everything, everyday.

12 Reasons Why You Cannot Get a Promotion at Work

      Your attitude toward work could keep you from advancement

      supervisors are in a position of power to make decisions that affect your career. One of these decisions is whether or not you deserve to be promoted to a higher level of responsibility. The boss may ask him or her to make a recommendation for a line employee to supervise a district of their own, or become head of their department. A boss may ask the supervisor for a suggestion or list of worthy people to interview.

       

      Promotions are for people who give the extra amount of work. They consider the company’s needs almost above their own to the extent possible. A person who shows maturity and loyalty to the company is always noticed. So is an employee who provides a constant seamless quality of work.

Here are some reasons why your expectations of a work promotion are not being achieved. 

1.      You only do what you are told to do – nothing more, and nothing less. You are giving as much to the company as you get back. You attitude is, “I do my job everyday. Who do overtime when the company isn’t paying me for it?”

2.      You are a Clock Watcher. You take your breaks on time, your lunch on time, and you leave the office on time. Even if everyone including you is working on a special project with a deadline. Even if you see your peers spending a few minutes talking to the boss. You think it’s a waste of time, and leave. You have things to do.

3.      Your Boss considers you a follower, not a leader. - In fact, you are a leader – of the water cooler crowd. Not a good place to be for a future supervisor.

4.      You haven’t asked for a Promotion – Supervisors are not mind readers. When you are going through your annual evaluation, have you ever indicated that you would like to advance in the company? How about when a staff vacancy comes up.

5.      You don’t participate in staff meetings – You show up late, if at all. You sit at the table with nothing to say. You don’t even take notes. Staff meetings are to inform, correct, and connect. Don’t you have any ideas to contribute? Why stay silent? Your boss may think it’s because you don’t want or care to participate or give ideas.

6.      You don’t volunteer for any Special Assignments. – Special assignments give you the opportunity to shine, stretch your knowledge of the company and show your strengths. You conveniently have something else to do when asked to help.

7.      Your web site, Blog, Articles, etc are offensive and immature. – Everything you put on the internet is public knowledge forever. You trash your company, your work, and some of your co-workers. Then you wonder why no one wants to go to lunch with you. Or why your manager doesn’t give you assignments that could showcase your talents.

8.      Poor Credit, Report, Poor Driving Record. – Companies do background checks before and during your employment. Especially if you are running for a promotion. The promotion may entail some travel. You may be expected to travel to different branches of the company. The job comes with a company car, but you aren’t eligible because of your speeding tickets.

9.      Work Quality is So-So. - It’s clear you put your work together as quickly and haphazardly as you can. There are always typos and grammatical errors in your work. Worse, you make excuses for why your work is not up to company standards.

10.  You consider your Work as a Job, Not a Career. – This attitude permeates and affects your attitude and work efforts. It means you have no expectations of staying at the job or profession. It’s just a paycheck to you.

11.  You Don’t Dress as if You are Ready to Move up in the Company. – You wear clothes for yourself, not to represent the company.

12.  You Don’t Talk to your Site Manager or Supervisor. – You don’t ask how he or she got promoted. You don’t talk to them about your own promotion dreams or ask for tips.

How to Change to Make Yourself Promotion Worthy:

• You have value as an employee. Take a good look at your skills and make an evaluation. List your strengths and showcase them at work. For any weaknesses, take some classes or make a plan to address those skills you know you will need in order to be considered for a promotion.
• Speak up at staff meetings. This is your time to show the company your worth, and that you are interested in seeing the company advance and prosper
• If you want a promotion, you have to stand out from the crowd in a consistently positive way. You can’t hang with the water cooler crowd every day and expect to be considered a leader
• Speak up for yourself. If there is an upper echelon position open in the company, your resume should be the first one submitted
• How do you expect to supervise your team if you are constantly late for work? If you aspire to be a supervisor, you should be the second person at the job next to your supervisor
• Work as if you take pride in what you do. Work as if you enjoy what you are doing
• Get your personal house in order. A supervisor must be a cut above the staff. If suspended due to unpaid tickets, pay them and get your driver’s license back. If possible clear up any legal matters that may be on your criminal record
• If you have a drug, prescription, or alcohol problem, don’t think no one knows about it. If you want to move up in the business world, get some help taking care of your addictions
• A company gives you a job. You have to turn it into the career you want
• Invest in a good dictionary and thesaurus. These are work tools that can help improve your correspondence and reports
• Join trade organizations and sit on a few committees. Join those organizations that your boss patronizes
• Look at how your supervisors dress. Then go shopping and buy similar clothing
• Do your work. Stay off eBay and the adult sites. Stop playing solitaire for hours, and checking your email four times a day. Meet your deadlines
• Don’t put anything on your Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, or MySpace account that you wouldn’t want your mother or your boss to see. What you post could be a professional career killer
• Work as if every day you are being considered for a potential promotion

You may look at this list and think, “Why should I do all of this without a guarantee I will be promoted?” Well, that’s another reason why you are not given supervisory responsibilities. You want a promotion to be handed to you. It doesn’t work that way.
Maybe what you really want is the extra money without the responsibility. One thing is clear by the negative behaviors outlined here. The employee has no loyalty to the company. He or she intends to do just enough work to keep the job. If staff layoffs are needed, unless you improve your attitude and work, you could be on that list

4 Reasons Why Your Hard Work Is Not Getting You Anywhere

Imagine you have a race to run. The track stretches out before you. You do a little jogging to warm up. You are ready. You go down on one knee…on your marks…get set…go!

You run, you run really hard. Half an hour later, you realize that the finish line still seems far off. So you run a little harder. An hour later, you realize that the finish line must be playing tricks on you. It does not seem to be getting closer. You look down and notice to your annoyance that you are only one step away from the starting line. But you’re giving the race your entire energy.
So why are you not getting anywhere?

This metaphor describes many of us in our career. You’ve worked hard at it for three years, five years…and it seems that you are only working so hard but not getting anywhere. Why?

Here are a few reasons to answer your question:

You have not noticed that you are not getting anywhere

If you are in the same situation I was a few years ago then you probably have not realized that your hard work and the results do not equate. If, however, you have come to that point, then you are doing a great job already. Admitting it is the hardest part, but once you get to that point, it can only get better.
Few years ago I was working in a company that went through some sort of financial crises and as a result we (all employees) were not paid for months. The unfortunate thing about my situation is that I kept hoping that things would get better because we heard nothing from the Management. I burned months of saved salary going to the office every day and getting nothing in return. Until one day, I seized control of my mind and stopped the pity-party.
This many not be your situation. It could be that you are moving from one job to another and you have not yet found fulfillment. It may be something else.

What To Do: Stop, Think and Re-strategize
No need working that hard for nothing. I would suggest you stop for a little while, think and re-strategies your race and focus on Point Two.



2. You have not taken time to develop your skills
One of the reasons why you are stuck in your race may be that you are running on a track with thousands of people who are just as good as you are. You are all good but none of you stands out. If you haven’t taken time in the last year to add a new skill to your personal brand, then you are in big trouble. The world is evolving fast and it may soon leave you behind.

What to Do: Equip yourself with New Skills Constantly
Where do you see yourself in the next 5years? This is one trick question HR Managers like to ask candidates at interviews, but in truth, it is one question you should have answered in the safety of your bedroom when looking at yourself in the mirror.
If you know where you are going, you will be able to determine the skills that will lead you to your goal. Do you need to polish your Social Media skills? Writing Skills? Software development skills? Are there new trends in your industry not many people know about?
Remember the Israelites completed a 40day journey in 40years, because they did not develop their listening skills. Take heed and learn from their mistakes.


3. You are running another person’s race

You are bored. This is not your passion. You get to work and set an alarm for 5p.m so you can be among the first people to rush out. Or you want to start up on your own but you don’t have the funds to start you up yet. Well, it is the same story everywhere. But it doesn’t have to be the end of the story. There is always a way out of every situation – it may not be an easy one, but it’s a way all the same.

What To Do: Get Back to your Track!
You may have to stop that race and backtrack a little. What was the initial plan? Why are you here now? How can you get out of it? Do you have what it takes to get out of it?
Focus on number 2 if it helps. If you want to be an entrepreneur and all you need is the motivation, well here is the nudge you need. If it’s the capital to start your business, then you better start saving for the d-day, because it will come and when it does, you want to be armed to the teeth and ready for it.


4. You are being too nice
Are you one of those people that say ‘Yes Sir’ ten times in the morning before your 1st cup of coffee? Are you someone who says ‘Yes’ every single time someone asks you to help out on a task even when your desk is filled with assignments? Are you one who hides at the back in a meeting and wouldn’t raise a hand when a colleague is saying something you think is wrong.
You get the idea. If you are that person, you have a long way to go indeed.


What To Do: Be More Aggressive
When I say nice, I really mean ‘timid’. Being nice is a good thing, but one thing I have learnt in the corporate world (although I learn't it late), being nice is like shooting yourself in the face. Nobody wants to do that. Being nice is like being the office wall paper- you are there but no one notices you.
I suggest you step up your confidence level before your ‘aggressive’ colleague is promoted before you. Learn to be firm. Learn to be aggressive (I hear you snickering at that). Yes, I said it: learn to be aggressive. Like my best friend would say: “you can be replaced anytime”, and if there is the need to promote someone and no one can vouch for your confidence level, guess who they’ll think of first? Definitely not Ms. Goody-too-shoes. You may be good at your job, but can people remember you?

Now when I mean ‘aggressive’ I don’t mean sticking your nose in other people’s business or bugging your boss to death about a new idea you have. I mean saying no when you mean no, reading up on trends in your industry and discussing it confidently with your boss and claiming the glory for a job well done when it is your due.


Finally, invest in yourself wisely. Looks are great. By all means get the latest Prada if it will make you happy or get you a better job. But if it will not get you where you want to be in the next five years, I suggest you save the money and improve on your brain power and confidence.