FIFTEEN REASONS WHY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN HAVE TROUBLE FINDING MR. RIGHT

1) The more attractive the woman, the more likely she will be approached by the kind of man who approaches attractive women. This kind of man views hunting, seducing and conquering women as sport.

2) To a hunter, a woman’s body is a commodity; he wins the game by getting her into bed. To a nice guy, a woman’s body is a sacred treasure; he wins her heart by honoring who she is as a person.
3) Hunters view women as nothing more than prey. By definition, nice guys are missing the “seducer” gene; even if they knew how to “play the game,” their conscience would never allow them to sweet-talk and manipulate a woman for their own selfish interests.
I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.

4) Seducers are more likely to suffer from the disorder known as IAAMATT (It’s All About Me All The Time). Nice guys are more likely to be empathetic, nurturing and other-centered.
5) A woman turns to makeup and fashion to boost her self-esteem and make herself more desirable to men. Yet ironically, the more beautiful she makes herself, the better her chances of attracting the wrong type of guy.
6) The more attractive the woman, the less likely she will be approached by the kind of man who is good in relationships. Conversely, the less attractive the man, the less likely he will approach a woman who is far more attractive than he is. That said, are there nice guys who are attractive enough and/or courageous enough to ask out a beautiful woman? Certainly. But they are a rare breed.
7) The kind of man who values emotional intimacy often looks at a beautiful woman and thinks, “She’s out of my league.” That is the overwhelming reason why so many women are wondering why nobody (or at least nobody worth going out with) ever asks them out. Essentially, seducers view a woman’s beauty as an invitation; nice guys view it as a deterrent.
8) When a beautiful woman gets fed up that only hunters are approaching her and decides to turn the tables by approaching a nice guy, she may be turned off by the reception she gets. In her mind, she’s just striking up a normal conversation. It doesn’t occur to her that she’s catching him off guard, and that even though he’s trying to listen to her, her words aren’t registering because his head is spinning from the fact that a beautiful woman is unexpectedly talking to him. The experience can be so foreign and disorienting that he comes across as a stammering fool. Patience here can pay off, for nice guys often have good relationship potential once the initial shock wears off.

9) Since beautiful women are only approached by hunters, they understandably think that most, if not all, men treat women the way that hunters do. Meanwhile, the nice guys sit in the back of the room and admire her from afar. Of course, identifying the nice guys isn’t that simple; a man may be quiet and reserved, but just because he doesn’t act like a seducer doesn’t mean he doesn’t aspire to be one. The wolf in sheep’s clothing is just one more obstacle on the path to finding Mr. Right.
10) When a beautiful woman repeatedly experiences the same pattern with one hunter after another, she understandably expects that pattern to continue. Frustrated, she may close herself off emotionally to all men, eliminating any chance a nice guy may have of connecting with her in a meaningful way. In this way, her fear of never finding the right guy can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
11) If a woman wants to be swept off her feet by a man who would also make a good lifetime partner, she is apt to be disappointed. The kind of charmers who are sweep-her-off-her-feeters are often the polar opposite of the kind of men who are good in relationships.
12) A nice guy is primarily relationship-oriented; he may first be attracted to a woman’s external beauty, but it is her internal beauty he values most highly. A hunter is exclusively achievement-oriented; he does not value what a woman thinks, says or feels; all that matters is that she has a woman’s body and he wants to get his hands on it.

13) Beautiful women often confine nice guys to the Friend Zone. A nice guy’s worst nightmare is hearing those nine soul-crushing words, “But I think of you as just a friend.” Many happy couples have built relationships on the bedrock of solid friendship, so perhaps it may be wise to rethink what makes good partner material and be open to finding it from unexpected sources. Which brings up the question: Can men and women truly be friends? Yes, but only if neither of them has any romantic interest in the other. If even one of them is harboring hopes of romance, the friendship will reach critical mass sooner rather than later, at which point the friendship must either dissolve or transition into a relationship.


14) If and when a hunter decides to “retire” from hunting and get married, he chooses a woman he can possess for her beauty, not one he can build an emotionally intimate partnership with. What so many admiring men and envious women fail to see is that, throughout a woman’s entire life, her beauty can be as much a curse as it is a blessing.


15) Women who are less attractive to the type of men who only pursue attractive women are more likely to have higher-quality interactions with men. Why? Nice guys are often more comfortable asking out and authentically communicating with women who they feel are more likely to agree to go out with them.

The 15 reasons above are daunting enough but they’re based on beauty alone. What if the beautiful woman in question is also brilliant and a successful high achiever? Yep, timid nice guys would view her as even more intimidating and unapproachable. Ah, but in Mr. Right’s eyes, those qualities would make her even more perfectly beautiful. Paging Mr. Right . . . Paging Mr. Right . . .


THE FOUR-WORD SOLUTION

The solution to this dating dilemma is obvious. As a female reader so succinctly commented: “Man up, nice guys!” What she’s insinuating is that if a guy isn’t man enough to ask a woman out, he probably isn’t quality relationship material anyway. That’s not always the case, although a guy who’s intimidated by a woman’s beauty is likely to put her on a pedestal if by some chance they did start dating. Excessive doting might sound like a problem many women would be willing to endure but life on a pedestal can get old very quickly. A mature woman wants a partner who treats her as an equal; she will settle for nothing less than being authentically loved, not mindlessly worshipped. In short, a woman cures a man’s addiction to doting by acting as the anti-dote.
Demanding that nice guys man up is obvious, yes, but a tall order. In order to approach a beautiful woman, a man needs to have healthy self-esteem. The greater his autonomy, self-knowledge, and self-confidence, the greater the likelihood he will feel worthy of being with an attractive woman. In short, a nice guy has to stop dreaming and start getting after it by doing the inner work that so many guys are reluctant to do.

Ultimately, of course, to make a relationship work, both the man and the woman have to see and appreciate the inner beauty of each other’s souls as well as their own. When that day comes, external beauty will be little more than an afterthought.

Six Ways to Discipline Children -- That Work!

It’s hard to deny the importance of discipline. "Discipline has to do with civilizing your child so they can live in society," says psychiatrist Michael Brody, MD. Yet kids repeatedly test their parents’ limits. When it comes to disciplining children, there is no quick fix and no magic bullet.
If you, like many parents, have tried to discipline kids who don’t want to listen, this article is for you. WebMD asked parenting experts for tips on finding that nice balance between disciplining kids without being a drill sergeant or a pushover.
Discipline Tip # 1: Reward Good Behavior
When punishment is the centerpiece of discipline, parents tend to overlook their children’s best behaviors. "You’ll get a lot further with positive reinforcement than negative reinforcement," says Mason Turner, MD, chief of psychiatry at Kaiser Permanente San Francisco Medical Center. Rewarding good deeds targets behaviors you want to develop in your child, not things he shouldn’t be doing.
This doesn’t mean you should give your child a pound of chocolate every time he picks up a paperclip. "There are grades of positive reinforcement," says Turner. "There’s saying ‘good job. I’m really glad you did that,’ when your child cleans his room." And there are times when your child does something extraordinary that may warrant a larger reward.
Discipline Tip # 2: Be Clear About Rules
If your rules are vague, or discussed only when one has been broken, your child will have a hard time following them. "It’s up to the parent to make clear what’s expected of the child and what isn’t," says Brody, who chairs the Media Committee of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Be sure to explain the rules of the house when you can speak clearly and your child is not too upset to listen.
James Sears, MD, a pediatrician in Southern California, suggests practicing discipline when it works for you. For instance, when you have 30 minutes to spare, interrupt your child’s game and tell her you need help with something. If she helps, great, do a quick and easy chore together and let her go back to her game. If she throws a tantrum, you have time to deal with it. "If you do that every once in a while, your child will understand that when Mommy says I need to put my toys away, I need to do it," says Sears.
Discipline Tip # 3: Neutralize Arguments
How do you deal with a child who wants to argue into submission? Steer clear of no-win arguments.
Instead, "go brain dead," advises Jim Fay, co-author of Parenting with Love and Logic. For instance, if your child says, "This isn’t fair," say, "I know." If your child says, "All of my friends get to have this," say, "I know." Or you can use the phrase, "And what did I say?" to enforce rules you have already discussed with your child. Sometimes the less you say, the more clear your point becomes.
Discipline Tip # 4: Buy Yourself Time
You may have read that children need to experience the consequences of their actions as soon as possible. And maybe you’ve heard that parents should be calm as they discipline children. In reality, you may not be able keep your cool and react right away.
"Buy yourself time to calm down before you deal with the situation," suggests Fay. You can tell your child, "Wow, bad decision. I need some time to figure out what I’m going to do about that." When your emotions are in check, express empathy for your child first, then deliver the consequences. Empathy gives your child room to connect his behavior to the outcome. "You don’t have to get angry at kids, you don’t have to yell. Just allow it to become their problem," says Fay.
Discipline Tip # 5: Be Consistent About Rules
Sometimes sticking to the rules is as challenging for parents as it is for kids. Sears sees too many parents turn the other cheek when their kids talk back or otherwise act out. "Parents just are not consistent in enforcing rules," he tells WebMD. Not enforcing your own rules puts everything you say into question. "If kids don’t know what to expect from their parents, they never really know what the rules are."
You may want to back down for fear of ruining your child’s fun. Keep in mind that kids benefit from limits. Rules and structure give children the security of knowing their parents are watching out for them. As kids get older, you can take a more flexible approach. Around the ages of 9 and 12, kids should get "a little leeway to test out the rules," says Brody. "But always be very careful about safety."
Discipline Tip # 6: Model Good Behavior
Like it or not, your children are watching you. You can dole out as much advice as you want, but your personal conduct makes a more lasting impression than your words. "The number one way human beings learn is through imitation and copy," says Fay. If you want your child to be honest, make sure you practice honesty. If you want your child to be polite, let her see your best manners, at home and in public.
The fact is, raising disciplined children is not easy. Despite your best efforts, there will always be good days and bad days. For evidence, look to the experts we interviewed for this article. Even after years of working with families, all four shared stories of their own children’s meltdowns or misbehavior. "As a parent, you’re constantly pushing your own limits. It’s the toughest but the greatest job I’ve ever had,".

12 Signs You Should Break Up With Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend or Spouse

Breaking up is never easy (especially if it’s not your decision), but oftentimes it is necessary. Perhaps it’s a matter of growing apart or falling out of love. Perhaps one or both of you just aren’t into each other anymore. In extreme cases, perhaps the relationship has become emotionally and/or physically abusive, alternating between cold, sullen resentment and overt hostility.

People stay in unsatisfying and/or toxic relationships for a variety of reasons: fear of being alone, fear of change, the comfort of the familiar vs. the fear of the unknown, financial reasons, children, religious beliefs, etc. We tell ourselves it’s not that bad or things will get better as a reason (i.e., excuse) not to make a difficult, but positive change. Unhappiness in your primary relationship affects every area of your life—physical and mental health, career and other relationships.

Below are some strong signs that it’s time to end your current relationship:

1.    If you’ve been hurt physically.
Ignore excuses and apologies; if violence has surfaced, it will surface again. Get out at the very first strike. This goes for men, too. If your partner, pushes, kicks, shoves or slaps you and/or throw things at you; GET OUT. Physical violence isn’t acceptable from either sex.

2.    When you’re totally incompatible.
If your partner’s dream is to travel the road as a wandering musician and you’re a city person with ambitions, one or both of you will probably be unhappy if you stay together. Relationships have a better chance at being successful with people whom we share similar values and goals.

3.    When he or she isn’t even close to your fantasy.
You may be tempted to stay with someone just because they’re available and willing, but this is generally a bad idea. There should be some chemistry in order to have a successful future.

4.    When he or she just can’t say I love you.
Even if there’s chemistry, if someone can’t express their love for you with affectionate gestures, nurturing, and the words “I love you,” you’ll never really feel satisfied with them.

5.    When he or she just isn’t there for you.
If you’ve been together a while and can’t count on him or her to come get you if your car breaks down, or to attend family or work events, then you don’t have a solid relationship.

6.    When you’re afraid to express yourself.
Being in love should bring out the best in you. It should help you to be less self-conscious and make you more open and alive. If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells all the time because your partner is emotionally volatile and verbally abusive, it’s probably a sign that this is not the right relationship for you.

7.    When your self-esteem is suffering.
If your relationship is demeaning, makes you feel bad about yourself, leaves you feeling like you’re not heard, and you’re getting more criticism than praise, then it’s time to end it. A good relationship makes you feel respected and loved, worthwhile and good about yourself.

8.    When he or she is a philanderer.
Serial philanderers usually have a pattern of behavior. If you discover your mate has that kind of history, don’t believe “never again.” The heartache and torment will never end.

9.    When he or she commits an unforgivable act.
There are single acts so horrid that they should mean the END. If he or she sleeps with your best friend, is disrespectful to your family, consistently criticizes and undermines you, stands you up at the altar, or commits murder, end the relationship with no second chances.

10.    When the same problems recur again and again.
Loving someone doesn’t always guarantee you can spend the rest of your lives together. If you’ve broken up and reunited and you’re still having the same fights, the same problems or different versions of the same problem, especially if you’ve tried relationship counseling, it’s probably best to end the relationship. Saying, “things will be better” and actually making things better by changing attitudes and behaviors aren’t the same thing. The former is lip service and mollification; the latter is growth.

11.    When he or she says, “I need some space.”
The relationship seems to have stalled and your partner says something like, “I want time,” or “I want space,” or “I think we should see other people,” or “I need to devote myself to my career.” Almost always, what he or she means is “I want out.” These things happen, don’t drag it out. You might say, “Sounds like you want to break up. I’m sorry you feel that way, but I understand. I hope we can remain friends.”

12.    When the relationship just doesn’t progress.
Relationships have a natural progression. If you’re not progressing and you can’t pinpoint the cause, you might want to try couple’s counseling. However, if he or she won’t go, or goes but doesn’t think there’s a problem or can’t see his or her role in the problem, and/or uses counseling to blame and trash you while exonerating him- or herself, the relationship is coming to an end.

5 Reasons To Travel When You’re Young

Traveling is unarguably one of the most gratifying experiences a person can have in their lifetime. Traveling awakens the soul, stirs the senses and paints the world in a new light. It may seem like a pastime for only a certain kind of person, but in all actuality, anyone and everyone can and should travel.

In my opinion, it’s better to travel sooner than later in life for a few very key reasons:

1. Traveling can help you figure out what you want to do with your life:

Exposing yourself to new places, people and cultures can awaken your sense of purpose. Learning about what’s out there in the world can help you determine what feels like you – and what doesn’t.
It’s also especially useful in helping people realize that there’s no one way to live a lifetime. Every culture is different and so is every person within those cultures. If you wait till later in life, you run the risk of realizing your potential too late. Don’t let opportunity pass you by; explore the world while you’re young.

2.    It promotes independence (and hones survival skills):

 Catching flights, keeping track of passports and navigating foreign-speaking cities, can force you to think on your feet and make decisions quickly. Being away from your comfort zone really pushes a person to think independently.

3. It eliminates resentment later in life:

How often do you hear someone much older than you comment on how they should have done something when they were younger? No one wants to be sitting in a rocking chair at age 80, wishing that they had taken that trip when they had the chance. Don’t let someone or something stop you from traveling. A chance to experience the world now is greater than any excuse you can come up with for not going. It’s worth it and you’ll be glad you have those memories later in life, trust me!

4. It makes you a more interesting person:

Nothing sucks more than talking to a person who has absolutely nothing to say. Traveling can create amazing memories and it serves as a great conversation starter. You’d be surprised how many times travel comes up in conversation, whether it be at a party or at the office. Think of how great it would be if you can jump in next time and compare experiences. Whether you are talking about your recent safari in Africa or that time you swam with dolphins in the Caribbean, it makes you seem knowledgeable and worldly which, let’s face it, is totally hot.

5. You work hard and deserve it:

Life can be crazy these days. With the overload of gadgets, work hours and social networking demands, it’s no wonder we haven’t broken down as a nation, cracking from all the pressure. Today’s youth works harder than ever to achieve more than ever, and there’s no better way to reward ourselves and take time out than with a good old vacation.
Remember, all that hard work is done in vain if there isn’t an equal dose of play to go with it. You don’t want to look back in 15 years and realize you wasted you’re younger years doing nothing but work, right? So save that hard earned cash and go somewhere you’ve only dared to dream about- today. Turn fantasy into reality and give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it!

I’m sure that one of the main reasons that a young adult would refrain from traveling is lack of funds or overwhelming feelings of not knowing where to start. Traveling doesn’t have to be expensive or overwhelming for you to have a great time. There are some affordable deals out there for just about every trip you can imagine; it’s all about timing and planning.

Understand that airfare is always cheaper in certain months, as are hotel rates and nightlife packages. Travel agents can be really useful in helping you find the best deals and packages. Plus, they know exactly what hotels and attractions to send you to, depending on what your interests are. Also, don’t discount your friends and relatives. You never know who has an Uncle with a timeshare or an extra apartment in Miami that their parents rent out during the year. The more you ask, the more you shall receive.

Make it a priority to do your homework and planning a vacation will ultimately be fun, exciting, and rewarding – an experience that you will certainly never forget.