Will I Ever Fall in Love Again?

A woman pondering the future of her love life
Will I ever fall in love again? This is a question that commonly
comes up in readings, and the answer to this question will always
be the same for everyone who asks me. The answer to the million-
dollar question is ? if you allow yourself to.
People tend to think that everything in life is determined by
destiny, and it's true that a lot of what we experience is brought
our way by the universe. However, when it comes to what is sent
our way, we play a big part in what comes through to us, and what
doesn't come through to us. A lot of it has to do with how open
we are to receiving what the universe is offering us. I'm not talking
about receiving what you want or need. I'm talking about being in
a state that allows your energies to flow freely without much
blockage. Allow me to illustrate this with a common example:
Your boyfriend has broken up with you and you're devastated,
your world has come crashing down and you feel like you'll never
love again. You try your hardest to just suck it up and move on
like so many people are advising you to do. You do your best, but
deep down inside you're still holding onto a lot of the pain from
that past disappointment. Although you're being given
opportunities to be with new people, nothing seems to ever move
forward the way you want it to.
This is a classic case that plays out for many people time after
time, and they always wonder, "Why?" We have been taught from
an early age that pain is bad and that we must avoid feeling it at all
costs. Crying and letting our emotions out are seen as bad things.
So we begin to lose touch with our energy and aren't able to feel
what's going on with it ? this creates blockage. So to answer the
big "why?" above, it's because your energy is being blocked by
past "junk" that you have been conditioned to suppress ? you're
not flowing as you are meant to. By ignoring our energy and only
focusing on the physical, we give up much of the power we have
in deciding the quality of life we live.
So if you're feeling stuck, not just in love, but in any area of life it
would be very helpful to look into healing and contact an energy
worker who can help you get in touch with your energy. You will
be able to see where things are blocked and what issues from your
past you need to release. Keep in mind that it's not a quick fix and
it's basically like learning a new way of living that takes a bit of
dedication. But, it will make a tremendous difference in your life,
and allow you to receive the opportunities the universe wants to
send you.

Top 10 Signs Someone Else Is in Your Relationship

If you are in a relationship that is full of doubt and confusion, you
may be wondering if there is someone else in the life of your
significant other.
Here to help are 10 signs that another love interest may be sharing
your partner's attention:
Your lover no longer calls just to check in with words of
endearment.
Your partner is too busy to return a text message or voice mail.
Your partner doesn't answer the phone when you are around.
When you take a meal to his house, the dish is immediately
cleaned and set on the table so you won't forget it.
Your partner insists on staying home and watching T.V. rather
than go out on a date.
The bar is suddenly stocked with beverages that neither of you
drink.
Friends casually ask, as if they already know something, if the two
of you are still together.
Your partner doesn't try to ease your insecurities about an ex.
Last year you received a dozen red roses for Valentine's Day; this
year you received a card and a candy bar.
Your partner is too busy with projects on weekends to hang out
and too tired on Saturday night to go out with you.
These clues suggest that your partner is possibly cheating. They at
least indicate a change in your relationship. If you checked off
many of these signs, it may be time to step back for a little soul-
searching.
Where do you want your life to go and how can you create that
life?
What kind of relationship do you want in your life?
Does it include someone who is unfaithful to you?
Your relationship may or may not be over, but some reflection is
needed to answer these questions in order to pursue the life, love
and partnership that you deserve.

12 Signs You Should Break Up With Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend or Spouse

Breaking up is never easy (especially if it’s not your decision), but oftentimes it is necessary. Perhaps it’s a matter of growing apart or falling out of love. Perhaps one or both of you just aren’t into each other anymore. In extreme cases, perhaps the relationship has become emotionally and/or physically abusive, alternating between cold, sullen resentment and overt hostility.

People stay in unsatisfying and/or toxic relationships for a variety of reasons: fear of being alone, fear of change, the comfort of the familiar vs. the fear of the unknown, financial reasons, children, religious beliefs, etc. We tell ourselves it’s not that bad or things will get better as a reason (i.e., excuse) not to make a difficult, but positive change. Unhappiness in your primary relationship affects every area of your life—physical and mental health, career and other relationships.

Below are some strong signs that it’s time to end your current relationship:

1.    If you’ve been hurt physically.
Ignore excuses and apologies; if violence has surfaced, it will surface again. Get out at the very first strike. This goes for men, too. If your partner, pushes, kicks, shoves or slaps you and/or throw things at you; GET OUT. Physical violence isn’t acceptable from either sex.

2.    When you’re totally incompatible.
If your partner’s dream is to travel the road as a wandering musician and you’re a city person with ambitions, one or both of you will probably be unhappy if you stay together. Relationships have a better chance at being successful with people whom we share similar values and goals.

3.    When he or she isn’t even close to your fantasy.
You may be tempted to stay with someone just because they’re available and willing, but this is generally a bad idea. There should be some chemistry in order to have a successful future.

4.    When he or she just can’t say I love you.
Even if there’s chemistry, if someone can’t express their love for you with affectionate gestures, nurturing, and the words “I love you,” you’ll never really feel satisfied with them.

5.    When he or she just isn’t there for you.
If you’ve been together a while and can’t count on him or her to come get you if your car breaks down, or to attend family or work events, then you don’t have a solid relationship.

6.    When you’re afraid to express yourself.
Being in love should bring out the best in you. It should help you to be less self-conscious and make you more open and alive. If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells all the time because your partner is emotionally volatile and verbally abusive, it’s probably a sign that this is not the right relationship for you.

7.    When your self-esteem is suffering.
If your relationship is demeaning, makes you feel bad about yourself, leaves you feeling like you’re not heard, and you’re getting more criticism than praise, then it’s time to end it. A good relationship makes you feel respected and loved, worthwhile and good about yourself.

8.    When he or she is a philanderer.
Serial philanderers usually have a pattern of behavior. If you discover your mate has that kind of history, don’t believe “never again.” The heartache and torment will never end.

9.    When he or she commits an unforgivable act.
There are single acts so horrid that they should mean the END. If he or she sleeps with your best friend, is disrespectful to your family, consistently criticizes and undermines you, stands you up at the altar, or commits murder, end the relationship with no second chances.

10.    When the same problems recur again and again.
Loving someone doesn’t always guarantee you can spend the rest of your lives together. If you’ve broken up and reunited and you’re still having the same fights, the same problems or different versions of the same problem, especially if you’ve tried relationship counseling, it’s probably best to end the relationship. Saying, “things will be better” and actually making things better by changing attitudes and behaviors aren’t the same thing. The former is lip service and mollification; the latter is growth.

11.    When he or she says, “I need some space.”
The relationship seems to have stalled and your partner says something like, “I want time,” or “I want space,” or “I think we should see other people,” or “I need to devote myself to my career.” Almost always, what he or she means is “I want out.” These things happen, don’t drag it out. You might say, “Sounds like you want to break up. I’m sorry you feel that way, but I understand. I hope we can remain friends.”

12.    When the relationship just doesn’t progress.
Relationships have a natural progression. If you’re not progressing and you can’t pinpoint the cause, you might want to try couple’s counseling. However, if he or she won’t go, or goes but doesn’t think there’s a problem or can’t see his or her role in the problem, and/or uses counseling to blame and trash you while exonerating him- or herself, the relationship is coming to an end.

12 REASONS WHY BREAK-UPS OCCUR

There are so many reasons why couples call it quits – the list goes on and on! Besides the obvious reasons – physical and/ or mental abuse, lying or cheating, etc when a break-up is initiated, it usually happens because two people are not compatible for the long term. Here’s short list to explain why:

1.       “What I found endearing, I now found annoying” Whatever qualities first attracted you to this person, now repulse and irritate you. It feels as if everything your partner does frustrates you - including talking.

2.       “I feel as if I’m dating someone else” The honeymoon stage is definitely over and your significant other has become comfortable enough to reveal his or her true personality. Let’s just say this “new” personality should’ve just stay hidden forever.

3.       “My Significant other is always working” When the person you are dating consistently puts work before you, they are not ready for a serious relationship. I believe that you should love what you do, but do you really want to marry someone who’s first love in their job, not you?

4.       “I can’t remember last time we had sex” This is when your sex life is going down the drain, fast! This usually happens when your partner has either let themselves go in the grooming department – or has gained way more than a few pounds, causing their previous sex appeal to become a lot less attractive. Hmmm, and they wonder why you continue to have a reoccurring headache?

5.       “Was he/she always this lazy?” When you start to feel like your partner’s maid – verses a loving, caring boyfriend or girlfriend – this can get really old, really quick. No one like to consistently pick up after someone especially without a simple “thank you” or acknowledgement.

6.       “We are just not on the same life-page anymore” You have mentally and emotionally grown apart, and at this point, probably physically too. This usually happens when two people start dating at a young age, have been dating for a long time, and before committing to each other (for a life time) never asked signification relationship-altering questions: financial issues, political opinions, religious views, family values, career goals etc

7.       “All we do is sit around and watch T.V” We never go out anymore, clearly, romance has left the building, the “spark” is gone, and laziness has taken over. Don’t get me wrong, staying home, making dinner (or ordering) and watching movies has its time and place. However, when staying home becomes a weekend occurrence and cuddling changes at a distance, there is a problem.

8.       “My Significant other now gets upset when  i go out with friends” The confidence and attraction you once felt has disintegrated – due to jealousy. Continual insecurity is exhausting to deal with and can definitely make the person you are with less charming. Insecurity is not the new sexy!

9.       “I don’t feel appreciated” This is when you are with someone who doesn’t seem to care if you are together or not. They stop doing the little things to show appreciation. When someone stops putting in the effort, it’s definitely time to move on.

1 .   “He/She is Crazy!” This happens when your partner displays two personality traits that usually will come out when he or she is intoxicated. Underlying bipolar characteristics and anger issues come to the forefront. Either way, the noticeable character difference is uncomfortable to deal with it. You should never feel as if you are dating two completely different people – especially one that is abusive.

     “I think I’m dating an alcoholic.” Drinking on occasion has become a daily routine with your significant other, and it doesn’t stop with just one drink. You might want to figure out where your nearest AA is and take a much needed sober break from this relationship.

 .   “I never see my significant other anymore.” When someone stops making time for you, this is a huge, HUGE red flag that there is a loss of interest. If he or she was able to make time for you in the beginning of the relationship, why not now? It’s not rocket science – he or she has emotionally moved on, and you need to do the same.

These are just a few reasons why break-ups occur, but I’m sure there are many, many more that can also be justifiable! Remember, break-ups do happen for a reason and if the person you are with isn’t right, there is someone else who is. However, if you are hanging on for the wrong reasons – because you are lonely and you need the comfort – you’re just prolonging the one.